Mindfulness and Compassion for health issues

Alison Laycock

Over the past few months, I’ve experienced some health issues and have been extremely grateful for my mindfulness practice and the self-compassion techniques I know and use. I wish to highlight and share the strategies we can use when we experience health issues as these are general techniques for all health issues and perhaps will help you too.

Consult a doctor: This is an act of self-compassion and something we should all do when we experience conditions we are concerned about. To be honest, it has taken me far too long to make a doctor’s appointment and now that it’s done I can breathe more easily. Whatever holds you back isn’t worth it!

Do I know it for sure?: This is one of my favourite questions for many aspects and it has certainly helped me during the past few months when lots of worries have gone through my mind. Asking the question can stop your mind ruminating on all the things that could be wrong and often the answer is ‘no, I don’t know it for sure!’ which means you can move on.

Is there anything I can do to help myself?: If the answer is ‘yes’ then do it and if not then reassure yourself that you have done all you possibly can. Added in to this can be whether or not you need support in doing it and if so, do you have that support or do you need to find it?

Take each step at a time: It is often easy to worry and rush ahead of all other steps to worry all the more. Simply taking each step at a time can help reassure yourself that there is a process to follow and you will soon have the answers you need. Also take each day at a time as some days may be easier to manage than others.

Reassure yourself that you’ve got through so far: It is often easy to panic about tests and symptoms, however reassuring yourself that you have managed so far can help you realise how resilient you are.

Mindful body scan/ Compassionate body scan: Going through all the parts of the body which are still ok/ working can be very helpful and reassuring to remember that it is only one area which needs attention.

Mindful breathing: This can allow time for a break in thoughts by focussing on the breath and notice how it can calm the mind and body.

Mindful movement: Moving the body can be the saving grace during times of difficulty as it encourages us to be present in the body rather than allowing thoughts to take over. There are huge benefits in general to moving the body and mindful movement slows the body down in a way you focus on each part and every muscle involved. It can be very reassuring.

Mindful walking: Going for a mindful walk means we can be lost in the beauty of our surroundings which can lift our mood at the same time as providing us with a different focus. We can also focus on the movement of our body as each part is involved which takes us away from our thoughts.

When I know more I can do more: We are often in a phase where we can’t do anything more than we are doing or have done and we need to accept that we will do more when we have more information and more understanding of where to go next. Acknowledging this fact is important as there is often nothing more to do at certain times.

Do what helps you relax/ laugh/ distract yourself: This is a good time to remember that humour and laughter helps.

Focus on others: thinking about and helping others is a great way of taking your focus off yourself and your own problems

Acknowledge your fears/concerns: It is essential to acknowledge your thoughts/ fears and concerns which are completely valid and need to be expressed to yourself, to others or writing them down to get them out of your head.

Be grateful: Gratitude can lift us and there is always something we can be grateful for about our situation either in terms of the situation itself or in comparison with others. I am always grateful I now live in a country where doctor and hospital appointments are so accessible as well as sanitised tests and care as I have lived and worked in countries where this is not the case.

A lot of these strategies are also useful during illnesses or receiving treatment so please try them out if you wish/need to.

Mindfulness and Compassion in Sport

by Alison Laycock

“To be a mindful athlete, you start by being a mindful person and they work together” George Mumford

Come into the present moment: When we breathe, we come into the present moment as we can’t breathe in the past or in the future. By being in the present, we focus on what is happening now, right now in this moment and we let go of anything else we don’t need to deal with outside of this moment. This allows us to focus on what is important right now without worrying about any other moment.

We can notice what we are paying attention to which could be other players, the whistle, the supporters and other sounds we can block out. Once aware of our minds wandering, we have the choice to bring our mind back to what we wish to pay attention to and do so kindly rather than in a negative manner. By staying connected with the present moment, we can prevent our minds from going to the thoughts of previous errors or jump ahead to future outcomes like a missed goal or injury. Through slowing down with the breath, we are able to see what is the best decision to take within the space we have created.

‘Being in the Zone’ or ‘Flow’ is enhanced by the regular practice of being in the present moment, whether on or off the pitch and this has been linked to improved performance.

Beginner’s Mind: Bringing a Beginner’s mind to our lives means we can look at events as if for the first time no matter how many times we have done the same thing. A new match is a new match and therefore can be seen as such and prepared for in this way too. With this in mind, we acknowledge that we don’t need to take previous mistakes/ experiences into the next match. We can start with a clean slate.

Self-awareness: Through practising Mindfulness, our self-awareness increases and improves as we are able to notice more about ourselves, our reactions and others in our lives. It allows us to see what we need to do and how we need to behave if we want to be, do, play better. We see the real us which can be difficult at times and through bringing kindness or a gentleness to that, we can learn to acknowledge and accept our whole authentic selves. This encourages us to see how we bring our own uniqueness to all that we do and that is valuable as we can’t be anyone else. Through being ok with all of ourselves, we will always perform better in all aspects of our life. Being self-aware also helps us to see what we can learn and change rather than simply seeing something as a mistake and being critical of ourselves. This also encourages us to compete against your previous best self not against the competition from the other team/ person as you realise that your growth matters more than any comparison.

Mental chatter: This can be in terms of telling ourselves stories, negative/positive self-talk and also getting caught up in our thoughts. Therefore, it is important to be aware of the story you’re telling yourself, see how it is affecting you and noticing it rather than identifying with it so you can observe it with distance. If you experience anger for example, you can ask yourself is that how I want to be? And if not then you can ask what do I need to do to change it? We can give ourselves space from the chatter to hear the truth of what is happening rather than seeing it how we want to or telling stories around it. This is an important technique as mental chatter can make it difficult to maintain perspective and focus and if we become too stressed about our performance or in general then we can’t make good decisions, solve problems or stay composed. Negative self-talk can impact our stress and anxiety levels and may make us fear failure far too much so we need to be able to resist internal/ external distractions such as anxiety, fear, a loud crowd or even a distracting teammate, so we can make good decisions in the moment. As well as paying attention to internal chatter, also notice and listen to how we talk about ourselves, our performance and our aims when we are speaking with others and what we are listening to from others who impact our lives. Taking time to notice allows us to make decisions about who we want to influence us and we may need to make the choice to not accept how some people are talking to or about us.

Body Scan: This can help release tension, quiet the mind and bring awareness to the body. In developing heightened awareness of the body and improve communication between the body and the mind, it helps us sense physiological changes like a tense muscle or shallow breathing and make a split second adjustment even before we’re consciously aware of what’s going on and before they have a greater impact on our performance. A body scan allows us to work our way through the body to see how it feels and bring an acceptance to all, kindness and non-judging which is essential during times of injury and encourages recovery quicker than resistance or self-blaming or blaming others for the injury.

Visualisation: This is a technique to visualise how great our performance will be in every way whether it is in the next moment or a future event. We can also remember a previous positive performance/ experience and play that through the mind rather than ruminating on a negative experience. There are more techniques and practices we will discuss on the course.

Happy Pride Month June 2021: Poet Interview with A.J.Loksley

Recently, I had the great pleasure of interviewing A.J Loksley about their collection of 13 poems entitled ‘Deep Down Inside Yourself: Listen To Your Voice’. Their poems have really struck me and I have used some of them during my retreats and mindfulness courses as they resonate so much. The interview took place through emails back and forth as A.J wishes to remain private and therefore didn’t want to meet face to face through Zoom which is explained throughout the questions. ‘Deep Down Inside Yourself: Listen to your voice’ is available for 99p from Amazon in the Kindle format as A.J decided to self-publish and make them affordable for as many people as they could. I have to admit that the interview went in an unexpected direction and I am grateful to A.J for being so open and honest and answering the questions in detail. Let’s meet A.J.

What made you want to publish your poems?

AJL: I nearly didn’t to be honest. Poetry has been important to me over the years, probably since I was a young child and it has been my release in the most helpful way. I wrote these poems during the start of lockdown which I thought would remain just for me like all the others and then something shifted. I started to think about others like me who could be struggling through lockdown and wanted to give them hope, either through my poems or in showing how creativity could help us in these times.

Who is the book aimed at?

AJ: Anyone who enjoys poetry really. It was important for me that the poems stand in their own right so I didn’t want to include any information about myself in an introduction or any other part so I simply published the 13 poems. There are poems which cover many aspects of life and I didn’t want to prevent readers from enjoying them if they were put off by any personal information about the poet. These poems like all poetry should be able to stand by themselves and speak for themselves.

Is this why you wanted to stay private and conduct the interview via email rather than Zoom and haven’t supplied any photos of yourself?

AJ: Yes. Privacy is very important to me and for a while I just wanted the poems to exist for all to enjoy without having my personal information linked to them that would change people’s view of them. I identify as pansexual and non-binary which I didn’t want to influence the reader’s views. There is nothing about my identity that I’m not happy or not proud of and I don’t wish to give the wrong impression in staying private so I decided to share that in interviews. It’s important for all to be happy with themselves and I write about that in the poems and the great gift of being able to hear and accept ourselves. At the end of the day, it is my business, however I was in conversation the other day with LGBTQ+ young people and I realised how the LGBTQ+ community still needs strong role models to lead their lives fully accepting of themselves so that we can set that example for others.

So, would you like me to advertise this interview and your book under the terms you have mentioned above?

AJ: Yes, they are maybe the main details aren’t they to help others and if I keep the others private then there is less conversation or questions. For me, being known as the poet isn’t necessary and I wish to live my life that way but I am proud of that and even prouder of the acceptance I have found. So yes, I’m a LGBTQ+ poet who identifies as pansexual and non-binary and am very happy in the life I’ve found and made.

I was wondering if Mindfulness or Meditation plays a part in your acceptance of your identity as many of the poems certainly make me think of Mindfulness as they remind me to take time to notice my life?

AJ: There is definitely something at play isn’t there. The stage I was at when writing the poems is no doubt reflective of me finding my way back to some sort of practice again which was prompted by lockdown and not feeling as free as I have done for years. I felt a loss of control which I really struggled with so yes, I guess I did revert back to the coping mechanisms I had when I first felt the same lack of control around my sexuality and gender identity.

I wanted to truly consider this question so it is important for the reader of this interview to know that I have come back to this question after some time as I was aware I hadn’t answered the first part of the question about whether practice, mindful or otherwise was involved in my acceptance.

Acceptance was a slow and long process for me as I didn’t necessarily have that support around me which would encourage me to be open or to even be able to investigate who I really was. That’s something we all need really isn’t it, that freedom to truly find out who we are without judgement from others or even ourselves. Looking back, techniques did help me with acceptance and becoming aware of who I was and who I wanted to be, who I wanted to love and be loved by and how I wanted to present myself and walk through this world. The techniques could be called mindfulness, meditation and even prayer or seeking for something better and wanting more for others as well as myself. Through hurting and coming close to ending my life, I knew to go forward I had to go forward truly authentically and working through pain and dealing with every part of that and myself I have gone forward and am more content with my life.

To fully accept yourself is the greatest gift we can give ourselves and through silence and hearing myself, my needs and my wants, I was fortunate to find my way. Fortunate, yes but it also took a lot of hard work and maybe that is what can be seen in the poetry. I do believe everybody regardless of their sexuality or identity can benefit from some sort of breathing practice and to be able to sit with themselves and move further and further towards acceptance of their whole selves.

Where can people get a copy of your poems?

AJ: I have self-published it as a Kindle book on Amazon for only 99p so that it is available for many people no matter what their financial situation may be. The poems may help others and if they prompt the readers to have a go at expressing themselves some way then even better.

Any other thoughts?

AJ: I would like to thank all of those who have been part of my journey to here, through my struggles and into this time of contentment and acceptance and those who will read the poems and find something in them. Alison, I don’t know if you will print this but I would like to also thank you for reaching out and also being respectful of my wishes the whole way through as that is such an important aspect of LGBTQ+ life, to be respected and accepted.

Happy Pride Month June 2021: LGBTQIA Youth Mental Health: Mindfulness & Compassion

Yes, this is Pride month, however this post is important all year round, let’s make sure we remember the (extra) needs of our LGBTQIA youth whether they are within our families, schools or communities. There are still so many struggling within lockdown and general pandemic effects, that need care and attention now and plans for later as much as anyone does and in some cases, more so.

There may be many who have spent and continue to spend lockdown in difficult situations without being able to access the much-needed support they would normally have in school or within their local community. It is therefore more important than ever that tools, resources and strategies are in place and offered to all students as this will ensure their mental, physical and emotional wellbeing at this time and during the following months.

These strategies can be adapted to school and Zoom sessions as well as helping in the home. They are also relevant for all students as allyship is important too.

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Pexels.com

Positive LGBTQIA role models: This is important for all students to see past and present positive LGBTQIA role models who are amazing people and also happen to identify as LGBTQ. Students can explore how the role models live their lives in or out of the public arena, with or without the use of their labels and any key lessons from them. This can be a great boost to their mental health to know they are not alone.

Kindness: Acknowledging the kindnesses given and received will encourage more in our lives. This is important for LGBTQ+ students to acknowledge/ accept that kindness exists around and towards them no matter who they are and even better for exactly who they are.

Knowing themselves and what they need: This is an extension of kindness where the individual can ensure they are protecting themselves through acceptance and understanding. This comes from self-awareness and knowing which people and situations are positive for them, which aren’t and how to access support and engage the strategies they need in those moments. Can they list their positives and how they enhance their family, community or more.

Resilience: This is key for everyone and building emotional resilience can be encouraged and supported throughout the whole school community with teachers modelling what this looks like and how they practice it. Parents too can play a big part in this to discuss and show methods to help themselves and their children through difficult situations.

Notice the breath: Our breath always takes us to the present moment and this can be used on its own or with other practices. We are able to see ourselves in that breath and who we are, notice it, accept it and move to the next moment.

If more is needed then it can lead into STOP. S = Stop: whatever you’re doing, just pause T = Take a breath and follow it coming in and going out. If it helps, say ‘in’ as you’re breathing in and ‘out’ as you let it go. O = Observe your thoughts, feelings and emotions. Name them if that will help and observe how the body feels. P = Proceed mindfully. Is there something you need to move into the next moment? Can a chat with a friend help? Do you need a drink of water? Will fresh air help?

Develop and use self-soothing techniques: These can be external or internal ones which can help in the moment to create space at the same time as offering comfort and support to the individual. Maybe stroking the arm before going into a particular area of the school may help, giving oneself a hug at certain points of the day or simply speaking kindly and positively to yourself throughout the day.

Show them how to love themselves: Which behaviours are self-loving and which ones may appear healthy in physical, mental and emotional arms but aren’t necessarily supporting their growth. Parents and teachers can highlight this in how they behave and respond to events.

All of the above strategies of using Mindfulness and Compassion in general throughout schools/zoom sessions, as well as specifically with LGBTQ+ students, bring many benefits to all involved.

Here are a few:

Improved levels of self-esteem and self-worth
Kinder and more positive atmosphere around and within the school community
Improved performance levels through students being able to be their true selves
Better behaviour and more positive interactions
Reduced levels of bullying especially Homophobic, Bi-phobic and Trans-phobic (HBT)

If you are interested in learning more whether for your children, students or yourself then please don’t hesitate to be in touch. Alison can be contacted through info@beingthebestyoucanbe.org or visiting her website http://www.beingthebestyoucanbe.org. Throughout Pride month and also beyond, Alison posts about LGBTQIA Mindfulness and Compassion on this blog and her website blog.

Taking Pride in your school’s mindfulness (Innovate My School)

Written by Alison Laycock

Alison Laycock, an accredited Mindfulness and Compassion teacher and Founder of ‘Being the Best You Can Be’ combines her 20+ years of teaching with her Mindfulness experience. Having taught languages across the Education sector abroad and in the UK, Alison is now working with school communities offering helpful and practical Mindfulness and Compassion tips and techniques for teachers, students and school staff. Please visit the website to find out more.

Follow @alisonlaycock23

Website: www.beingthebestyoucanbe.org

Whether there is a Pride group, or a similar support group, for the LGBTQ+ community in your school or not, there will be a number of LGBTQ + students in all Primary and Secondary schools. There are also LGBTQ+ teachers, whether they are out to their colleagues and/or students or not.

There may be many who have spent lockdown in difficult situations without being able to access the much-needed support they would normally have in school or within their local community. It is therefore more important than ever that tools, resources and strategies are in place and offered to all students as this will ensure their mental, physical and emotional wellbeing at this time and during the following months.

The strategies mentioned below are intended to provide a whole school approach towards LGBTQ+ inclusion so that all teachers and students can support each other, especially as allies are also an important part of the LGBTQ+ experience.

Kindness: Acknowledging the kindnesses given and received will encourage more in our lives. This is important for LGBTQ+ students to accept that kindness exists around and towards them no matter who they are and even better for exactly who they are.

S = Stop: whatever you’re doing, just pause

T = Take a breath and follow it coming in and going out. If it helps, say ‘in’ as you’re breathing in and ‘out’ as you let it go.

O = Observe your thoughts, feelings and emotions. Name them if that will help and observe how the body feels.

P = Proceed mindfully. Is there something you need to move into the next moment? Can a chat with a friend help? Do you need a drink of water? Will fresh air help?

All of the above strategies of using Mindfulness and Compassion in general throughout schools, as well as specifically with LGBTQ+ students, bring many benefits to all involved. Here are a few:

Improved levels of self-esteem and self-worth
Kinder and more positive atmosphere around and within the school community
Improved performance levels through students being able to be their true selves
Better behaviour and more positive interactions
Reduced levels of bullying especially Homophobic, Bi-phobic and Trans-phobic (HBT)

A Day in the life of… during lockdown

As we travel this path under the umbrella of Covid-19 and lockdown, we are all travelling it differently due to our different responsibilities, our experiences past and present and our personalities. This can often allow us moments of judgement or comparison with others which often isn’t healthy or helpful. Continue reading “A Day in the life of… during lockdown” →

World Kindness Day

May Vane

As today (13th November 2018) is World Kindness Day, we wanted to share some of our posts on kindness. Some will have been shared previously and some will be new.

There are many acts of kindness we can all and do engage in every day and often they are carried out in a way which helps our family and friends who know who is responsible for the act of kindness. Also if we are honest with ourselves, the thoughts which instigate these acts are that we will look good to that person, we will be known as a kind friend or family member and probably the greater thought is linked with knowing that the kindness will come back to you somehow.

So why would we possibly wish to make them random acts of kindness where we might not actually receive the thanks or any reciprocation for them?

Continue reading “World Kindness Day” →